Facebook, Deactivate, Delete.

Facebook, Deactivate, Delete. 

The first time I heard about Facebook I was at a party out of state, around very beautiful women in the hills of California. I overheard a Canadian girl speaking of this thing called Facebook. I was intrigued and asked more about it, I went home from my trip and signed in and created Joy's Facebook page. I have had my Facebook account since the year 2007. My introduction to social media was in college with AOL, Yahoo and CompuServe chat rooms. I even met my husband online many years ago. I would say I am a avid internet and social media user, but through the years it has evolved and changed. My connection to others, the world and myself transformed because of social media and with social media's changes and evolution. The biggest changes and least appealing with myself have happened since I have been on Facebook. 

I have used Facebook in many ways, not just my personal profile, I have observed from several perspectives and through many years. My pages included a modeling page (I modeled under another identity), a personal business page (I created custom items) and a inspirational page (bringing women together). I have deleted all of those pages many years ago. I currently have deactivated my Makeup Artistry page and my personal page, I will call my personal page, my Joy page, my birth given name. I am deleting my Joy page, I am done with Facebook. A page that has a life of it's own, it has been a part of me for almost 9 years, 9 years of memories "bad" and "good," 9 years of connections, 9 years of my life, 9 years of Joy. 

Facebook use to be a place I connected with old friends, caught up with my friends lives, or if I saw a friend having a hard time I would reach out. I would look for inspiration, art and what I consider news. I shared what I thought would inspire, inform, help others and perhaps would make someone laugh. Something has changed, Facebook has changed, people have changed, I have changed. What use to be a place of connection is now a place of disconnection. Perhaps I was blind to a lot of it at first the positive aspects outweighing the negative, but the negative is outweighing the positive for me now. I have seen friendships end in one comment, nasty public divorces, murder, racism, sexism and the constant media bleed into Facebook sparking arguments and destroying friendships tearing our society further apart. The media controlling the puppet strings and mood swings of our newsfeed. Facebook use to be a friendship zone, a place of connection, but now disconnection. I know it is time to go. 

DSKNECTD Official Trailer 1 (2014) - Digital Communication Documentary HD

Watched this Amazing documentary the other day

One thing Facebook is good for if you are able to be truthful to yourself is self reflection. I would study my page and ask myself "What am I projecting into the world?" "How do others perceive me from what I have posted?" "Is that the way I want to be perceived?" "Is that making me happy or pleasing to me?" and "Is it helping others?" I have posted plenty of narcissistic selfies and self promotion, something at this point I am not as proud of. I know there are other reasons I posted self serving post and the biggest reason is connection. I desired and still desire a deep connection with others. I believe others want that as well, but have lost their way. I was disheartened when I realized most of the people on my friends list would prefer to "like" a photo of me then some thing I spent months on creating and shared to the world or something that came truly from the heart. People are more interested in my exterior than my interior. Facebook is just a shell, a mask, a book of masks.

I realize it is the user's responsibility as I am responsible for how I have used social media. What happens when the users are not cognizant of the system? If you are not cognizant of the system, the system uses you. Facebook does not care for it's users, it cares about advertising dollars, how information is distributed, what information is distributed and who it is distributed to. They censor what we post on our private pages, I have been reported for nude pieces of art from the 18th century. They have gone as far as perform psychological experiments on users unknown to the users themselves. They decide what information gets shared and to who, whose news feed you pop up in and what would be best to advertise to you. What you post is their property, Facebook controls Facebook and you if you allow.

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5 Crazy Ways Social Media Is Changing Your Brain Right Now

A few weeks ago, life had me in a tornado. Lots of changes were happening externally and internally. I decided it was best for me to stop, slow down and meditate. During my meditation I received the message "Tune out the static." I pondered on this and the first thing that came to mind was Facebook. Facebook is static in my life. I spend way to much time perusing my newsfeed, instead of tuning into my life. I would "like" a friend's photo, instead of having lunch with them and spending face to face time with them. I constantly had one eye on my phone looking for that blue light that told me I had a message waiting for me, instead of reading one the books I have been dying to read. I hit page refresh relentlessly after posting something, hoping someone would connect, instead of connecting with people directly.  I would go through several different emotional reactions scrolling my newsfeed from divorces, news and childbirths in one 20 seconds of a scroll I would be mad, sad, happy, mad, happy, sad...on an on. How is this healthy?

I have taken many Facebook hiatuses and found myself happier apart from the connection, but missed my online friends. I have been off Facebook for several weeks now, I could not be happier. I have found peace in the storm. I have found myself and opened up a new communication with myself. I have spent time connecting with my friends and my little family. I have slowed down and connected to everything around me. I feel huge changes within and with my attention span. I am taking a artist course, reading my favorite books, writing again, practicing my dance and drum everyday and focusing on my new makeup business. No static to distract.

I know I do not belong on Facebook now, I am deleting my account. I hope to stay in contact with many, but I know not being visible everyday I will not be on people's minds. I will become a ghost, I am killing my online personality, part of me. Joy's Facebook personality established in 2007 will be no longer. I look forward to deepening my connection with myself and my friends I dearly care for. I am excited to start a new chapter with my new business. I am happy to deepen my connection to dance and drum. I look forward to see what I create in my writing and with the Bees. To my new life Facebook/Static free!!!

Some Great Articles: 

How Facebook (FB) is Altering Your Mind

The Negative Effect of Social Media on Society and Individuals

Is Facebook Distorting Your View of the World?

Facebook Addiction - New Psychological Scale

Top 5 Negative Effects of Facebook on Us

How Facebook Ruins Friendships

You can't win that Facebook fight

Is Facebook Really a Playground for Narcissists?

Seeing Everyone Else's Highlight Reels: How Facebook Usage is Linked to Depressive Symptoms Read More: http://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2014.33.8.701

Facebook linked to depression among heavy users, new study finds

Cognitive control in media multitaskers

Facebook Addiction' Activates Same Brain Areas As Drugs; How Social Media Sites Hook You In